So I went to watch Clara.

not bad... we thrashed the other team 40-18. But tamp sec sch is really really bad. Though I dun get bball much, but well yeah....and clara got hit and her upper lip is bleeding and yucks. So clara leong, must take care kk?

stupid girl got her phone confiscated and is so hard to sms her.

AND tt mrKhoo overslept. TSK. how i wish i got as much time as he does for slping. yawns. I need slp. My eyebags are YUCKS.

and i ponned bio lect today and went to the mep room with two grand pianos. WOW. haha.

ohs and I drew my pink F.O.S. bottle. Now its the same color scheme as my new nike dunks. SMILES. and i tink the bottle looks so WOW> and so nice and so exquisite. HAHA. duhs I drew it.

SO BHB. ><

ohs and I shld really start bucking up in my studies,. BEEN SLACKING AGAIN> SHIT.

MAY MAY MAY WAKE UP AND DO UR TUTORIALS AND PAY ATTN IN CLASS!!!!!!!!!!!

ARGH.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


POUTS.

Currently in school and supposed to be in math lect. BUT i've got severe stomachache and so went to the toilet for a looooong time. For now, I am in the canteen using KaiJie's laptop to slack and blog. HEHS. waiting for the bell so tt I can go back for chem lect.

Ytrday, I heard abt Ade Jie being pregnant....BUT it seems sth else cropped up. HMMM..shant say too much but I get really upset when I think abt it and wat Gera sms-ed me. Its so sad... *sighs*

and today I may be gg down to support Clara at her bball match at Bedok CC. so near sch so I thot maybe I will pop down for a minute and see. I haven seen her play before. Hahaha. Yes yes, wat kind of a cousin am i right? HAHA.

and I saw this Roxy bedsheet the other day but coz it came without the quilt cover Mum didnt want to get it for me. HMPHS. POUTS.

hello all, clare really really really rocks.


t's clare. mad girl. HAHA. GTG.

BYEBYE.

0906 and 0506 merged to form the CHAMPION captain's ball team this year for Alpha Intra-hse Captain Ball competition.

OWNAGE!!!!!!!

firstgame against this really rough yr1 class. so dots. one guy hit me on my mouth and smashed my braces against my teeth. SO PAINFUL I TELL U tt i kinda said the f word loud. and honeybuns was quite shocked. cheys i broke my new year resolution. tsk me. BUT WE THRASHED THEM and won. HAH. take tt assholes. playing rough get u nowhere.

secondgame against TA1 and this guy was damn competitive. hated his guts. and then suddenly Judith fell and injured her knee. which swelled and ballooned real fast. We were so scared lahh seeing her like tt. and Jun looked so worried. Haiii... so Judith cant play and we had to find a girl subst coz melody is sick and yahh...so we requested Ash to join us even though she delta, HAHA. and then dan needs to go and we need another guy and Billy got Jian Min to play. Jian Min went to play as capt and stood on the chair OMG. he is so tall!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sheesh. and we won. duhhs.

thirdgame against 0507: lupna and yasmin in tt class. but watever it is, we won. by this time Jon Ong joined us coz Jian Min nvr play but Ash still played. HAHA.

After three games, SEMIFINALS. against 1306

wahhh, that class so competitive and abit rough, the tall guy looks so scary lahhh... and derrick and aloy play so bballish. so we changed our style alittle and it was such an exciting match I tell you. So nervewrecking, HAHA. they were leading and then we caught up and led then they draw and then we score and then they score so it went on like tt till we got 10-9 and we won. by tt slightest of margin. FINALS!!! 1306 lost to 2106 by one point for their 3rd4th placing match. they abit suay. Jonong and Serene (coz Ash cant play, they found out abt her being in Delta)played w us.

started to rain. so we all waited and then we decided to wanna challenge 1706 instead of splitting the prize money. so we played. and i being the usual slacker (but i will choose to say smart) I didn run much (but got run alittle okayy), i just stood near our goal and waited for the ball and catch the ball and shoot if can. HEH HEHS. AND I didnt noe i can jump so high!!!!!!!!!!!! hehs. to catch the ball i mean. and yah, we won. ahhaa. credits go to jon and jun and serene who ran everywhere. ahhaa. and billy for being a fantastic calm catcher and nic for being a great jumping defender. SMILES.

vermonster sundae here we come!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the vouchers are w me.... MUST TAKE GOOD CARE OF THEM. or else the following pple will murder me. HAHA.

JUNJUN
BILLY
NICHOLAS TEO
JUDITH
JON ONG
ASHWINI
SERENE
DANIEL
JIAN MIN
BRANDIE
MELODY (our cheerleader even though shes sick)
RACHEL (cheerleader)


and of coz I will kill myself. HAHA.

in an emo filled week, this is one of the few happy occasions. SMILES.

TOMORROW 27th JAN:

JUN JUN HAPPY BDAY!!!!!!!!!! love ya girlfren!!!!!!!! will not pangseh u so much this yr!!!!!!!!!!

MARSHA HAPPY BDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! seeya tmr for our marmalade pantry again!!!!!!!!!!!!! thanks for being such a great fren last yr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

COOKIE tt naughty yet adorable dog (sometimes) first bday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'll try to be nice to you tmr!!!!! and not scold you for disrupting my comfortable pattern of life. before u came into our life.

stepping back:

I realised sometimes feeling too much is bad, having too much emotions is bad because it totally clouds ur head. And after feeling emo for two days alr, though today was definitely alot better, I realised that I was just so shrouded with bitterness. Which I really cannot figure out where it originates frm, this bitterness. May.. the meaning of May the name is "Bitterness within the heart". Not v good ehhs, haha.

And tt maybe he was more of a brother really and maybe I just felt tt way coz of his choice. But tt doesnt mean I m ready to face it now. coz I m bloody well not ready. So watever. But hey at least i got sth right!!! I dun like him in tt sense!!! BIG SMILES.

so my life is alittle less complicated.

also, besides that big problem tt has been bugging me, I realise sometimes I hurt myself becoz of my cockamamie theory of having eyecandies are alot more fun for sch life. Oh sure, the thrill of gg OMG he is there. but then I get so into it, and I m in it for the sake of just having that cheap thrill, and then I hear stuff and hurt myself. Now I wonder what the hell was I thinking? Need I go to such great lengths to hurt myself? well, of coz not!!!

and man, I just "read" a great love story and see the side of a guy being so deeply in love and doing almost everything for the girl. So sweet ahh!!!!!!!! Deeply touched. SMILES.

and Mummy bot me a fengshui snake 2007 book. which is cool. smiles. and I read some really interesting stuff.

and i pon pe and gp today so I like super had lotsa free time to spare. and i went to parkway and spent freaking ten bucks on nth in the arcade. i wanna complete my winnie the pooh set!!!!!!!!! Shoot I m addicted.

and i m addicted to blogging. and I am addicted to alot of stuff. and erm, I just wanna thank my buddies: JunJun, Billy, Nic, Grace, Regina(i totally cant wait to see you),for these few days to stay by me and of coz some new buddies/juniors I made.. I felt ur concern!! and especially my newly-nicknamed sweetiepie. haha. smile and be happy and I really enjoyed toking to you. cheers to more intellectual and deep convo!!!! LOL.

okay tmr got intrahse ALPHA captain's ball competition and 0906 will own and take home w us that $50 ben and jerry's voucher! watch out!!!! JIA YOU and i need to go slp and conserve energy. NITES.

*dives right into*bed with a smile*

seriously what the hell was i tinking ytrday?

sounded so depressed and desperate and super emo to the max.

argh. shld be thankful tt I have love from my parents (albeit rather irritaing), sister (though we do haf our frequent debates), friends, brothers, best friends etc. who am I kidding? seriously.

I hate emo-ness. They really get to you so much you change into a completely different person.

Anyways, some good news: the class hoodie I designed and everyone in class has it except varun who ordered a size too small and we got him another bigger one but he did not go queensway collect himself, So not my fault he doesn have one now. ANYWAY, Grace went down to the shop to get her CO shirt done and the guy recognised her i tink and told her what happened to the hoodie we got for Varun. This tourist angmoh went to queensway and bot it frm him coz he tink it is nice even though the guy told him its a sch hoodie. OMG. this is so awesome. It is like recognition for my work and it always makes my day. Even on sunday when I wore tt hoodie to tuition and the girl fmr MJ told me she likes it. I love it when pple compliments me on my drawing!!! so happy. Hopefully I get to realise my dream of becoming a fashion designer one day and just being in the fashion industry.

smiles.

btw, I am learning to forgive and forget and ya abt the witch thing and feijiboy, not gg to let Brandie influence me and I wil just be normal frens w them lahh. More frens better than more enemies right.

wahsehs, like mature over a day.

hahaha. but yahh, and i realise tt although fate does play a part in frenships, one needs to still work at it. hmmm. like the same as relationship ehs?

and one dun need guys to smile and be happy.

BE HAPPY MAY.

be happy pple. coz emo pple arent cool to hang out w.

though guys are usually superficial freaks, there are still those out there who believes in inner beauty and tt's a rare quality.

i dun haf fat thighs k. I haf no choice lah.. muscular can. ARGH.

women intuition:

mine is rather strong but sometimes (especially when it comes to my own problems) I get it wrong. all wrong.

TSK. TSK. just when i need it the most right? THANKS AH.

and i freaking am gg cheer up and put all these behind me and move on coz its just not worth it.

to the left to the left.
everything you own in the box to the left.

....

i will have u replaced in a minute
and u r definitely not worth
any tears I feel
not worthy of the emotions I feel
not worthy of all that I am

i need to go kbox and sing it out
or go to the beach and shout
or go on cruise and sit in the sun
or under tt starry night sky
to stare and count my blessings
or just to cry it out.

I dunno why I am feeling
so down
so sad
so disgusted with myself.

sounds so *bleagh* desperate.

coz I m fcuking not.

I m independent.

*Destiny Child's Independent Women*

Song of the moment: 我们怎么了 by S.H.E.

most tear inducing so far. HAHA.

i hate this rollercoaster ride I am going thru right now becoz i dun see no ups. Its a heart dropping fall and falling. when will it pick up?

why do I feel a twinge of sadness
when I see you with her?
why do I feel a tug at my heartstrings
when I see the look in ur eyes?
why do I say no
when I clearly do?
why do I lie
when the truth is clear for all to see?
why do I ever make the same mistake
when I told myself it will hurt?
why do I never listen to my inner voices
when I made a vow to listen to them more often?


i m so screwed up sometimes.
and i duno why.
the questions are never ending,
and never answered.

i m surrounded by love
yet i dun feel any
have u ever felt alone in a crowded room?
well, i do.
the loneliness seems to be eating me up slowly.
yes, I do enjoy my freedom as a singleton.
but sometimes
its nice to noe u will always have someone
who will be there for you

sure u will say
but u have us
all ur buddies
to be there
for you anytime
thanks I say
I appreciate it
but u noe
wat i mean.

wait till i forget you or its ur bday lah wendy. HAHA. patience is a virtue.

btw, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to both BILLY TAN the billy goat(my honeybuns) and SOPHIA CHEW the blur sotong. hope u liked ur pressies and enjoyed ur day tremendously. Sweet sixteen to soph! eighteen bday to billy and now u r officially legal. to do many many stuff. Bet u r happy lahh.

anyways, today i had dental appt in parkway. I was abt to go alone and then the sweet brothers called (or rather birthday boy) to tell me they r accompanying me. AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. thanks so much! and then we had lunch and Billy treat us to coffee bean. YAYS. I got my coffee bean craving satisfied finally. coffeebean is better than starbucks in many ways. TCC can fight w coffeebean only. Haha. White Choclate dream frap. YAYS. Anyway, Brandie pangseh me and went back to school w the guys and i was left alone to go for dental. They had chem remedial. It was a fluke I got 6/22 and thus didn hafta go for chem remedial. HAH. so iw aited fcuking long for dental today and Dr Loh told me I can take out my braces real soon but must close up the gaps first. So he went, rubber bands? I was like EEEE DUN WAN. so he go tighten the braces chains like siao and now it is so painful!!!!!!!!!!!!! argh. Btw, I was waiting for Dr loh in the clinic and Marsha called and she was like I m wlking arnd marine parade. And i was like hello? I m in parkway. She is in cold storage. so she came to look for me! haha got kai. i m telling you the girl is my number one kaki. HAHA.

ohs, I reserved a table for two for Marsha and I on saturday at the Maramlade Pantry at Palais Renaissance (where else will we go? tt place is my chillout place besides tcc and coffeebean) to celebrate her bday which is the same as JunJun and Cookie the dog. Stupid dog is so naughty she peed on mum's bed and mum is threatening to give cookie away. HAH.

and yah, I wanted to go arcade in parkway to get the two remaining Winnie the Pooh plushies to complete my set at home and I realised sch uni cant go play. DAMMIT. so irritating. i dun care I might go tmr. Haha. And its stupid. JC students shld be allowed to play k. sheesh. Discrimination.

So pissed off. hmphs. and i didnt do any work in sch today. gosh. I totally need to stop this blogging thingy and go do work. my teeth hurts!!!! whine whine whine.

and my sister pissed me off coz i also dunno why. Weird. Just pissed for abt an hour. Anyway I didnt noe physio must book appointment. so I waste time today again. Dammit. ARGH.

so watever it is. I gtg now. ciao. AND thanks yet agian to Sarah soh for being my comp guru, she told me abt the wonderful Photo Manager and so now I can compress photos all at once and not one by one, HAHA. save time!!!!!!!!!

AND YES YOU CLARE. YOU GOT ONE WHOLE POST FOR URSELF. aint tt happening!!!!

HAHAH. sorrryyyy. didnt mean to forget you.

WAHAA. mature? where I dun see it? AHHAA. kidding.

finally I FOUND MY DISNEY PRINCESS NOTEBOOK. arent u just oh so happy for me? Hahahaha. even though I havent gotten back my roxy bottle, I am still pretty darn happy I found the book back. must go thank the cleaner auntie sia. Today after sch went to meet sek in the library to study then went toilet. When I walked out and looked over at the lost and found glass panel behind the library books checkout counter I saw this familiar cover page of a book! OMG I FOUND IT. Damn happy lahh. totally made my day and week. Haha. and today I had to go down to bedok caraven to try to meet mr looh and ask him if I can rejoin his tuition classes coz I actually stopped last yr (i kept slping and cldnt stand the long hours). There's this stupid rule tt states u cant rejoin the tutor's classes after u quit. wtf? okayyy. ahha. and so mr looh agreed but of coz I cant fall aslp in his class and must be totally dedicated in doing all his work. haha. so now I hafta wait for hsi new class to start before transferring out of everything I am in now. and do a major reshuffling of schedule and meet my beloved Regina Chen. YAYS. miss ya girl!!!! and i ate alot today!!! whines.

AND DAMMIT. a stupid bird peed on me and sek today when we were walking to bedok inter. DAMMIT and its so freaking gross. ARGH. but sek got the worse deal. HAHA. poor darling. haha. and pee is so yellow the bird probably ate too much protein. HMPHS. and omg, we bot didnt haf tissue&water and had to walk fast fast to 7eleven to gt water and tissue. YUCKS.

how was ur weekend btw? Mine was quite alrite. i went out w Nic and Jonnie and later honeybuns joined us. Nic finally got himself tt new bag and we finally found it at plaza sing flash and splash. I tink it totally matches his orange specs and worth scouting three stores for. and even though most of the time we followed Jonnie to the places he wanted to go, we didnt complain much abt tt brat coz he is just quite rather charming ehs? HAHA. roddick fanatic tt guy. BUT DAMMIT safin lost to roddick BUT OF COZ WITH QUITE A GOOD FIGHT. I love safin!!! then I saw sjaiful at adidas Suntec and spoke to him. Found out JoWong left for the States to study. Awwww. Nicole is coming back for hols!!!! I cant wait. Annual V day shopping together!!!!!!

And I also saw mr kev ang and hwee and viv and his wife and his son. But his son was all wrapped up so I cant see him. Awwwwww. Anyway, I then went for chem tuition at bedok and didn pay attn. was quite sleepy on the acct of me waking up early for trng. I played quite well and served even better. big smiles. haha.

Sunday was a normal day and i got my hair cut. actually not much of a diff coz I only cut away split ends. hehs. and of coz I freaking ate Mcdonald's Propserity MEAL. yyuech! and then went home to finish up that tub of gelato. so now i m left w b and j chunky monkey.

alritey bettre go do work now. will blog more next time.

My blog entries not v long okayy. just read lahh. doesn take very long lahh. haha.

hi.

i m back to blog today again. this is turning into a naughty habit i cant seem to kick! hmphs.

and i played RGS c div today. OMG. i lost to this nicole wathersurname. she is this caucasian looking girl and so cute and bubbly. HAHA. and she hits hard. and I lost 91 to her. Although the score super maluating, I actually did play well and if i won the sudden deaths we were in, I will probably win 93. I was hitting as hard as her and almost just as accurate. I lost mostly due to the sudden deaths and coz i only did abt 2 double faults and less than 20 unforced errors. so that's a good record.

so not having on a black face and instead being happy. and the food centre outside my hse is closing down and so no more nice ipoh horfun and jap food. so sadd... will miss the salmon fish head and saba. haiii. and yahh.

this week hasn been tt good. Largely due to the fact tt i lost stuff and a few disturbing news. Otherwise the fitness section cheered me up alot. I m alot fitter, in terms of running and also tennis where i m playing better. Gotta thank coach bernard for tt. I have learnt so much frm him in such a short while. Its amazing.

The other day i was talking to eugene low, and I guess it is kinda weird tt just entering the year 2007 when i m supposed to be 18 yrs old though not yet, I suddenly changed alot and matured so fast. its quite shocking discovering these new changes. quite good and pleasing though.

and heres a section of most recent convo i m having w chester and its quite thought provoking:

- Chester -says:you are a girl right
- Chester -says:duh!
- Chester -says:haha
- Chester -says:lets say you like this guy
- Chester -:but you have a gut feel the relationship wont work out
`mayy___ says:uh huh
`mayy___ says:then?
- Chester -says:what could attribute to that gut feel thing
`mayy___says:ermm.. i really wouldnt noe sometimes the gut feeling is so strong u cant shake it off then i might just actually listen to it. coz its after all women intution.
`mayy___ says:gut feeling r so hard to explain and being a gemini i have really strong gut feelings and mostly they r right lah so i try to listen to them. but coz i m also headstrong i also block out the gut feelings i dun like and end up hurting my self alot more

hmmm. tt actually is true. I mean come on how many times have i caused myself so many heartaches and disappointments in this short one yr and few mths? just coz I dun wanna listen to the feelings and innervoices and refused to look and acknowledge the signs out there in front of me. so stupid of me. so now coz a very recent similar refusal and of coz the eventual disappointment I m gg to try to live without any crushes and guys in my life. BROTHERS R NOT INCLUDED here. i will just miss u guys like crazy if i stop hanging out w u guys suddenly now.

and like wat xinhui said to me during math lect when i pon and sat w her on lt1 stage to chat: when we girls like some one we kinda overthink and do alot o assumptions. HAHA. i kinda agree w tt. dun u tink so?

hmmm. so like wat chester said also, things lost in tj will turn up so hopefully i get back my notebook!!! smiles. I m so worried.

and with effect from now, no guys in tj are worth it.

let me state the exceptions of close brothers: brandie, nic, billy, jonnie, mun, arief, syan, guang, martin, trip, kenny, ellery, ernest, chester, shannon, derrick. basically the guys i noe and actually tok to. YUPS. and of coz mustn forget my cutiepie1 sek and xinhui!!! HAHA. and my new tennis kaki trina. smiles. and my sis and nicole. NEW DOUBLES PAIR. JIA YOU. congrats on a good first game together today!!!! and wendy and sarah. smiles. and soph chew the blursotong.

so now. its A's and of coz my beloved tennis. and shopping, and food, and running.

and the passion of recovering lost stuff.

smiles. so emo. tsk me. I love my buddies. coz they r always there for me. no metter hu and no matter how long i haven seen u guys, I can randomly confide in you and i noe u will keep it for me and console me if i need it, i really appreciate it. No matter what happens, these random moments I will hold it inside me and think of it very often and smile at just the thot of it.

OKAY I FEEL BETTER AFTER SAYING SO MANY F-WORDS.

BIGBIGSMILES.

NTH CAN GET ME DOWN SO EASILY. COZ I DUN GIVE A SHIT ABT WAT STRANGERS SAY.

ONLY CLOSEBUDDIES ARE WORTH IT.

Anon: Do you noe u look like a guy?

Anon2: Oh, I tink you look like a guy!

or sth like tt I shant bother to rmb such FCUKING STUPID tags tt pisses me off. which of coz I deleted coz this page is for frenz in the same country and overseas to keep in touch and updated w my life. I DUN NEED NEGATIVITY.

if u dun like me come say it to my face and dun EVER say it behind my back. Coz if u wanna b a bitch come right out and b one.

Respect tt everyone are built differently. If I look like a guy to you, then come and say hi to me and let me see how perfect u look. Just coz I grouse abt wat I eat doesnt mean I m a heck of anorexic shit coz I train and I lose them fats. Blogging is abt entertainment amongst the pure part abt sharing ur life w the world. err hello? if i can type freely here, hah. fat hope. it will be in a diary. personal and private.

and if i ever find out who u r, i wun hesitate to go right up and say fcuk u. KISS MY FAT ASS. i m fcuking pissed tt I lost my precious stuff alr. This is just the catalyst to go over and bitch slap u if i know who u r.

FCUK OFF.

on the other hand, i m happy to say i ran 6 rounds for pe. one warm up round which i dunno what happened to me and i ran really fast and was w brandie and nic and the guys. siao. nvr do tt before. and then ran 5rounds of track coz i cant do outside running coz of my knee. hmmm. ohwells, stamina seems to be getting better. i gotta maintain tt level then. smiles.

Wow. Just came back frm trng. And bathed. Today's trng was quite fun actually. Boring but i kinda enjoyed it.

first we had to do minitennis and then run 5 rounds. YAYS I completed without stopping and came in first. Possible only coz Soph and Faye went Sungei Buloh. The fast runners. SCARY. so then i had my wonderful partner running nxt to me Trina! YAYS. So then we didn noe we had to repeat tt "set". two more times. WAT?! So then 15 rounds today and I managed to run consistently and not stop and come in first too! I have never done tt before!!! OMG. Yay May and GO TRINA. I m so proud of you!!! and myself. HAHA. And I sprinted the last part of the last 5 rounds, I love tt feeling. Painful and yet so exhilarating.

And DERRICK CHEN IS GULLIBLE. HAHA. Dun steal my word. Think of an original one urself. TSK.

and I had a short dessert lunch with XinHui. I love spending time w her, so ridiculous and fun no matter wat we do. must be her bimbotic comments. And Aprie is just so small and cute lahh! HAHA. if she reads this she will tink I m having a crush on her. HEHS. I do not.

AND JUNJUN (before I call you M**M**) better stop teasing me abt "ANNA". I only go: AHH SO CUTE. fullstop. No more omg omg omg. HMPHS. DUN LAUGH AT ME. AND DERRICK DUN TEASE ME ABT..ERM..u noe hu lahhh. SHUT ABT IT BEFORE I TEASE U ABT IT.

and today I was so tired I napped alittle in bio pract. ARGH and wanted to not eat lunch and napped in library which was so blissfully quiet BUT I CANT FALL ASLP. hence xinhui came to look for me and I noe Junjun is in mello's good hands. So I left w Xinhui. smiles, i wun pangseh you my locker buddy Junjun. HAHA sharing locker and putting shower stuff in it. AND CLOTHES. so nxt time can just bathe in sch. YAYS. and dun need bring all those soap stuff.

and this friday we are playing friendlies w RGS and then next wedn got some giving out of flyers thingy and then friday got captain's ball!! SO NO TRNG?! HAHA.

and ya i still cant find my disney princess nb!! I M SO SAD. argh.

sighs. and muttons are not having their morning talkshow coZ they are AWAY. so its now the girls gone wild who sound quite irritating. hmphs. I miss my muttons. and everyone is toking abt the DXO thingy happening this saturday night.

I cant stand it. I dun understand why cant these ppl wanna grow up so fast and do stuff u r not legal to do and go to underaged ones and be posers. sheesh. Haha cant say much, got a few good buddies doing tt. HAHA. And i realise my class super guai. no one clubs. YAYS. I m so proud of them. HAHA.

oh wells, after a's and bday, I m completely legal and free to do anything. HAHA. so i m happy w tt.

SEKKKKK. HAF FUN AHHHHHSSSSS. LOL. but u did in the end didnt you??? LOL.

i gtg slp now. I m tired, shall do my work tmr in sch and home then. NITES.

i m lost.

lost in the complication of emotions.
lost in the heat of the competition.
lost in the jealousy I feel.


lost in you.

now disney channel with yet another brilliant show (as usual): HANNAH MONTANA. YAY.

shes so funny.

and i just need to upload sth:

why is it tt frm acquaintances to being close friends in such a short time possible?
why is it when i hear what they say i feel a little smile start frm inside me?
why is it i have to ask myself this little question: I dun like him rite?
why is it every moment spent w you no matter how short is so enjoyable?

i told them no way
i told them brother
i told them wat r u tinking
i told them they r outta of their mind

but somehow

i feel i m saying all tt just for the sake of saying
i feel i m not being truthful w you
and myself

why is it happening this way?
do we really have a chance together?
is fate playing a part?

or is it just me thinking too much?

watching the Arena on channel 5 now and omg finally a new show on channel 5 worth watching. its so GP. so fun to watch. HAHA. everyone shld watch. so educational and entertaining. amazing. and today's show MGS IS CLEARLY OWNING stnic's. and i m on their side even though in tennis MGS and TKGS are socalled rivals.

and my msn screw up again i dunno why but when i type i it shows c. and y turns to god noes wat alphabet. ARGH.

and I LOST MY DISNEY PRINCESS NOTEBOOK IN SCH. ARGH. KEEP MISPLACING STUFF. I NEED SLP and I TINK ITS KARMA AND RETRIBUTION. I M SORRY I SAID SO MANY F WORDS.

argh. i have a huge pimple and i tink its healing but my BOTTLE AND NOTEBOOK. argh.

screams.

and i realise though i get all caught up with the goodlooking guys/hunks i see but ultimately i do value fashion sense and character and the charisma the guy exudes. i feel so less erm bitchy now. HAHA.

and theres trng tmr.

studied in sch. BIO again and at the end i spent time toking to sek and of coz sis cut in. and yah, we kinda joked arnd and teased and erm gossiped? HAHA. girls lahh.

and argh. i m gg to slp now and hopefully tmr i find my notebook and on saturday (gg out w nic!! before tuition.) i find my bottle. hmmm....

so today is monday, when i m supposedly having mass swim but i say I got period. WAHAHAHA. but i had it the week before and might as well use this excuse right coz last week no mass swim and the excuse cannot be wasted. But also coz I havent bot a onepiece swimsuit yet. haiii. two piece one piece wats the diff can. seriously.

and due to sleep deficit, I have a big red pimple on my cheek now. so sad. argh.

and becoz i cant find my roxy bottle i m using my beloved Virgin bottle which is practically antique. equally as baobei!!! maybe i shldnt use it in fear tt i might misplace it again. sheesh.

ohs and u will nvr guess wat i had lunch dinner ytrday and of coz today. ARGH.

welcome to the wonderful (NOT) world of may's eating adventures:

sunday140107: breakfast-->mijiangkueh,carrotcakesticks,lil pancake,one soonkueh, one veggiekueh.
lunch-->bananaprata, ipoh horfun, murtabak
dinner-->with uncle harry and wife and grandma and family at chi restaurant. 'nuff said. hah.

monday150107(HAPPY BDAY MINGMING!!): breakfast-->veggiekueh and sausagemcmuffin w egg meal.
lunch-->pizzahut w xinhui and her fren apri (shes so cute!), i ate garlic bread and a potatomangochicken salad.
dinner-->kayabread,cheecheongfunandyamcake and ALMOST HALF A TUB OF FRENCHVANILLA TIRAMISU GELATO. OMGGGG!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

was toking to brandie on the phone and then i just kept shoving teaspoonfuls of gelato in my mouth. icecream in cold weather rocks but not the FATS INVOLVED!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i m shell-shocked by my own greediness.

i studied in sch today w honeybuns and chuanchuan. and then cabbed home w derrick, his fren kim and shu!! haha. and today in school i saw all my ec. not bad right, very rare i see ALL of them in a single day.. HAHA. and DERRICK CHEN, MY EC BETTER THAN URS OKAYYY. cheys. LOL. u still owe me tcc so i dun care. HAHA. AND i m serious when i say i tink ****** likes you. HAHAHA.

and after pizza hut w xinhu and apri, we came back sch and were toking outside SC room when this three year1 guys walked past SC room and OMG. apri and xinhui were like MAY! u dunno tt guy ah?! He keep staring and smiling at you man. U got admirer in year1 lehhs. OMG LAH.
-.- hahaha. dots man. I dunno wat to say. And they say I have nice hair. wahs so happy! I sound like bimbo now. heh heh. =x

and when i tok to Nic rite, i m not afraid to say exactly what i feel sometimes becoz i dun care if he laughs at me. tt's coz he is such a brilliant guy who will not judge me and love me for hu i m even though I M SUPER BHB. HAH. OKAY NIC, i shant judge pple so much anymore!! haha karma!!!

and ytrday my new phone screw up and the batt was really half charged even though i charged for erm 12hours?? weird so i gave up and used my disney princess for the day. and now at home my new phone can charge alr. and we'll see how tmr... SMILES.

maybe need to go change still. maybe dunnid. but i WAS kinda looking forward to gg orchard tmr. now got no excuse. BUT mr chen wants to mug. so maybe i find another kaki? or i will be guai too and go mug. HEHS.

my PIMPLE IS HUGE AND HURTING ME. ARGH.

tmr got National Income test and i havent studied for it yet so i shld prob say ciao for now and blog tmr. or later if i can. but i m kinda tired and dun even wanna study for econs test coz i will prob fail?? I DUNNO LAH. THIS SUCKS.


STUDYING IS FUNN!!! *psycho-ing myself*

i was thinking tt since i m so sentimental, how will i ever get to preserve this blog?? shld i print it out?? all the entries??? hmm...

and I CANT FIND MY PINK ROXY BOTTLE ANYWHERE!! so now i cant slp. sobs. I love it lahh. its so bimbotic...-.-

must be coz i quarrelled w mum tt afternoon. and I keep having a weird feeling after and during tuition when I took the bottle out and put it on the floor for an easier time to drink and kept reminding myself to keep it back in my bag after the class ends. BUT somehow I cant recall if I put it back into my bag which I tink I did but now it just vanished into thin air... -.-

so toking to bryan online now and he says I gotta do a good deed and maybe it will come back to me... and i said I shld stop calling Derrick VS gay. Good ehs??? And probably also be nicer to Mum. Hmmmm....

i m so sadd now. and i wore fbts and converse sweatshirt to tuition just now and dad thinks its too casual?! hello? I wear nicer u say I go fashion show?! not funny lahh. everything also must comment. argh. wassup w my parents?!

argh i miss my bottle!!! and i just checked my new hp and i feel so lost w it... like weird feeling. i miss nokia and i prob am too used to my darling 6230. haiii..

just too sad now... =((((

as u can see. its raining cats dogs mouse elephants trexes today again. and so no trng in the morn and mum dragged me out of bed at 7 am and then no trng. my eyebags uber bad now!!!

i need beauty slp. and i need to start doing hw. esp Maths. Vectors. O.0

and i ate lots of breakfast today and my sis complained she wants lunch at 11am and still complaining and i m charging my new phone now!!! YAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

tonite got Cheetah Girls on disney channel!!! I WANNA WATCH.

and i finally changed my blog temp to the same one but i dunno wat i did ytrday and the stuff got all mashed up in the middle of the page.

AND I CANT FIND MY ROXY BOTTLE. i tink i left it in bedok caraven... DIE.

tmr go and get. -.-

and yes sek!!! cutie pie1!! LOL.

and i haven study today. -.-

Biology Viruses and Bacteria. YUCKS.

and I HAVE GOT ANTS IN MY STUDY ROOM. randomly irritating me and crawling in front of me which is A HUGE MISTAKE. I kill all of them with my fat palm. LOL. *PIAK* and they r gone. there was one on my laptop screen and i used one finger and squashed it and dragged it across so its quite erm Gross???!!!!!

hehs. but my sister is the true ANT-TERMINATOR. u shld see her in Bedok Tennis Courts (with huge ants) during TKGS trng and she stomp stomp stomp. LOLL. bet rach and hwee reading this will rofl.

ohwells. time to lunchie munchie munch. byebye!!!

go read my sister's blog. its fcuking funny with that ping and pong tennis joke from 98.7fm Muttons in the Morning. It is me and my sister's fave radio show. MUTTONS ROCK!!!

and everyone is calling her May's sister now in school and shes like wats wrong with ur frens ah sis?? Hello, how wld i noe?? not my fault lahhh. sorryyy. and she's like how come like the whole sch noe you??!! Sorry lah, I popular wat!! HAHA. BHB. nvr say for good or bad reasons. -.-

Now I got new scandal. HELLO TJC?! Pple??!! Thanks lahh. i dun need these scandals LAH. Can you let me be scandal-free? and just be me May who's single?! and totally NOT attached and not desperate for one. Thank you very much. But thinking abt it, I wldnt be me without my scandals HAHAHA. dotts.

and let me clarify this: ME AND JIEHAN ARE NOT GG OUT. WE R CLOSE BUDDIES. I REPEAT NOT.

thanks.

smiles. and omg lahh. Mum eats freaking so much food and she doesnt really grow fat just like so many girls I noe. Nowadays so many girls all so short and cute and skinny. I m like jealous coz i m short fat and ugly. -.- argh. like sis says, FAT JUICY WORMS WRIGGLING IN INTESTINES. i want worms tooo.... sobbs.

hmms toking to sek now. HI SEK!!! u lil cutie pie!!! LOL. and if shixuan is reading, DUN BE JEALOUS. U can be CUTIE PIE TOO!!

HI CUTIE PIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOLLL.

clarifying new scandal within year1s abt me (sia lah, year1s also create rumours abt me): DERRICK AND I NOT TOGETHER. Just happened to be good frens living near each other. -.-
The fun of mixed school. NOT.

cheys. and omg, I realise I m quite erm bitchy and bimbotic. HAHA. ya ya ya just realise cannot isit?! cheys. HAHA. hu cares. this is me. LOL. attitude sia.

*i m being schizo here*

SHIT LAH. I freaking sound so bastardly here. Must stop speaking os many sia lahhs and swear words. Like guy like tt. Must be more ladylike. HAHA. only to pple I like. SHHHH....

SMILES.

back frm tuition. chem tuition. freaking sians despite Derrick Chen being in the same tuition. WTH. damn freaky lahh. now in addition to taking bus rides together, he is now tuition mate. -.-

This is how I found out:

I was sitting in the class alone w two other guys whom I dunno frm dunno which JC and then phone rang. KIM POSSIBLE RING TONE!!! LOL. then i heard derrick's voice over the phone saying hi and asking where i m. Like hello, so random lahh. After I told him, then he was like come out. WTH. damn scary lahh. I swear its retribution for ka jiao-ing him over the orientation and pangsehing him today.

chem tuition was erm quite zzzzzz. SERIOSULY NEED TO WAKE UP. My organic chem knowledge is like ZILCH. ZERO. NADA. GONE CASE ALR. need to study!!!! Panic attack.

and sians, I quarrel with Mother today again. I just pekchek her again. Damn jialat lahh. Buay tahan. Her menopause getting worse I swear. SERIOUS. her moodswings are worse than mine. FCUK LAH. I have a lovehate relationship w her now. And I dun wan it to be this way ok. My god, but she just noes wat buttons to push lah.

ARGH.

I wanna be a better daughter and not argue w the 'rents so much.

I wanna be a more attentive student in class.

I wanna be a better sister to my sister BUT then I already quite good alr lahh. I buy alot of stuff for her all the time. -.-

I wanna stop blogging now and go study. But also abit tough.

I just wanna stop living sometimes. I do tink abt suicide and how I wld wanna die. But then I always shudder at the thot of actually dying before finding out whats my destiny like. But death is an intriuging thot. Wat really happens when u die? hmmm...

this is getting wayy too morbid.

Its yet another rainy day and I couldn't have training today morning and i m quite disappointed in tt. Hmmm. and i have been catching up on my work which I missed during Orientation week this morning and till now. AND I M NOT DONE. ARGH. And i finally downloaded some songs I have been wanting for quite some time. And today I ate Peter Rabbit chocs and Winnie the pooh biscuit sticks w honey dip. YUMMS. And on monday I bringing the Peter Rabbit chocs to school coz good things must share with buddies ya? SMILES. First Come First Serve? LOL.

And though this is not very ladylike to say but I dun care, I shit so much today! Thank God. I dun tink i can live with alot of farting. Phew.

And I finally got back to my days of watching MTV and then "cheoreographing" my own dances to the songs played. And finally also, i am beginning to start writing more songs. YAYS. I stopped for one period of time coz I was too engrossed in drawing random stuff. HAH. So I m a happy girl. I really wanna do dance lessons... =(

Hmmms, after a convo with Mun (MAN!! lol.) last night on msn, I realise tt although I come across as a freaking superficial person to most pple due to my comments and especially abt goodlookers (=P), the pple I actually like much are not tt goodlooking and all that matters are their intellectual ability, fashion sense and sportiness (if there's such a word) etc.

This reminds me of a convo me and nic had the other day on msn when I was commenting on JunJun/Brandie saying why I got so many ec. And it came across like I was a huge flirt and having so many crushes. ALAMAKS. ec are like admiration, like I admire a certain quality of theirs alot while crushes are like I truly like the person and his character. get it darlinggs??? LOL. kkayy, I have been slacking since tt night I slept at 2am and woke up feeling like a zombie. so yah next week must pull together and survive the whole week!!!

And Cookie was being a big baby just a few minutes ago. She came into my study room and stood up to try to get my umbrella and I carried her onto my lap. and she curled up like a ball just like when she was young and new to our hse and loves doing tt, And then she licked her paws and I carried her like a baby and she rest herself against my tummy and her paws resting on my boob ( not tt I have any?? LOL.) and I felt a calm I have never felt before. A quiet type of fortunate happiness... hmmm.... NOT TT I M SAYING I WANNA HAVE A BABY. sheesh. but it did made my day somehow. Felt so peaceful just sitting there with her lying there. smiles.

alriteys. am feeling better today! Got tuition tonight. chemistry 7.30pm - 9.30pm at Bedok Caraven and JunJun just sms-ed to say she is studying at Bedok Library, so maybe I shall go bathe now and join her! laterr~~

i m back to grouse. LOL.

I ATE ICECREAM AGAIN. maltesers icecream. yummyyy. BUT FCUKING guilty. argh. I am beginning to hate myself now. shit.

and i got new phone. the pink Z610i. yays. SMILES.

and I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT. *screams*

and I wanna dance.

and I wanna do well in school.

and I wanna whine. which i m doing now.

and I wanna stop being so bitchy. which is hard coz there are quite a number of pple being bitchy to me and when u do tt, I find it hard to be nice to you too. so there. I dun fcuking give a shit.

I m in a rollercoaster mood. bad good emo mad sad crazy shy happy angry pissed guilty pekchek smile. and its not PMS. its just due to the many events happening simultaneously or one after another. i m too expressive lahh.

its just me. and if u dun like it, well, its too bad. HAH.

damn attitude now. shit.

aiya gg slp tmr morn got private trng and of coz i hafta catch up on work now. BYEEEEE.

Okayy, i know i m supposed to be studying now but i just felt like blogging...hehs. sorryyy. its been raining the whole day and pissing the hell out of me. ARGH. rain tmr lahhh. today wanted to follow sis to her theory lesson at funan and then study at TCC while she attends her lesson BUT no. it rained and killed my mood. I want COFFEE. ya kun kaya one also can. HEHS.

I M STILL JUNKING OKAYY. dammit. i m disgusted with myself. why is it so hard to not think abt food for a second. I swear after a lvls I m gg to work my ass off and take up yoga and belly dancing and dance classes. and happiness! I just watched MTV and danced in the bigbig living room. Favourtie pasttime. I love dancing but apparently mum doesnt share my passion in it and thinks tennis is so much better. HAH. making my thighs and calves look like Serena and Venus Williams is NOT A JOKE. argh.

and i slept at freaking 2 am last night and was in a daze today till 2plus and sch's gonna end alr so wats the point?! sheesh. and went home with Derrick today. Its nice to finally have someone to take the bus with. HEHS. and we need to meet up, nique chua!!! HMPHS. u blame me for gg on hols and i blame u for not replying my sms-es so we are even again. HEHS. i m maddd.

and omg u have no idea wat i did today to wake myself up. HAHA. its so embarassing thinking abt it. EEYER. i went gaga over one of my ec in sch and acted like a huge idiot. LOL.

KHOOMAYSZE STOP UR MADNESS. I COMMAND U TO STOP THINKING ABT GUYS AND STOP JUNKING AND ACTUALLY LISTEN TO UR INNER VOICE.

arghs. i want a new phone but I dunno which one i want. HEHS. coz Mum found a way to get me the motored RAZR then newpaper came up with this article tokingabt some new Nokia phone. PINK AND SLIM LIKE RAZR. HEHS. shld i or not............


okay tmr onwards rite. tmr yes tmr. i noe i say alot of tmr the past few days. i m gg to give the *no guy madness* rule my best shot, YES. i shld do tt and mug. abt junking. TMR I SHALL TRY TO LIVE OFF water. good no?

I CANT WAIT FOR A LVLS TO GO AWAY OUTTA MY LIFE. but i wanna do well also lahh. its very impt aiights? determines my university...

BYE BYE.

why isit you make me feel so guilty
guilty of just thinking abt you and
guilty of the torture i put myself up with,
guilty of the toxic i put in my body
creating a mess out of it.
why isit i cant seem to be sane when u r arnd...
life just got a whole lot more complicated.
i have the mind to stop my madness but
not the determination required.

help me
will you?

hehs. bio bio madness. and i didnt say i was not playing well today rite? haii. shld stop putting tennis behind other stuff. havent played in ages. Sheesh. and argh i hate the bitch, alot.

hmphs. and arms crossed.

but today i had fun during pdp exhibition w xh, junjun, sek, etc etc. was like open hse. =)

and hmmm... just felt like writing sth:

why do i feel the wonders of being so free and
no strings attached and of being single.
yet sometimes i begin to feel
the lack of companionship
not friends coz now I have good friends and buddies and besties.
weird...
its like suddenly like all i want is you.
but i cant.
i half dun want and want.
sighs.life is complicated.

right?

okiedoks. enuf emo.

gotta go. smiles pple. bet many of u in lalaland.

finally i feel a wee bit normal. yays!!! and laugh all u want bestie 'nessa. go ahead. hmphs. HAHA. we NEED to meet up. okay? say yes and nod ur head. LOL. and today is PDP exhibition day and sooo no trng. yays and wth trng is gg to start so soon and man i feel so unfit and yahh. . . quite scared. AND EEEYER... ... i ate junk again today. dammit. breakfast is custard puff and then lunch is fishandchips and lambchop. ARGH. and theres junk at night at 11pm. coz studying makes u hungry and i drank soft drinks. Big Gulp. BLEAGH. but mixing the different drinks needs skill u noe. HAHA. I feel fat and bloated and thoroughly guilty. Nic is gg to restrict me tmr onwards rite?! and my god, i cant stand the bitch who tinks she is ohsohot. bleagh. hate her. and i love my sister. I dunno why, i just feel like loving her today. LOL. hi sek u funnaye ogm. HAHA. not sek hui coz it sounds gay rite? LOL. k la k la. i need to go study now.

and omg, i saw great pacs today and felt uber guilty coz my abs become united nations alr. and i feel flabby. ARGH. gotta start working out again.

mendelian genetics are no joke. Recombinant and Epistasis. argh. stress alr!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hellooo. today is a blahblah day. Haha. except there are still ppl pissing me off. =s and i freaking eat more junk!!! brownie frm P.Osh and disney cookies which are quite tasteless. and ramly burger and some lian yong pia and banana and chicken biscuits and ya. no icecream today though. Nic is now my junkfood controller. He is to control my junkfood intake and i will control his. I need caffeine and green tea. TCC, coffee club and coffeebean. Hmmmm... yummyyy.

and there are two pple in school who pissed me off alot today and will continue to do so for the rest of the year. Sheesh. girls, please leave me alone and dun be such "g*loudhailers". argh.

and and and i actually sat in the sch library and did chem periodic table. but nvr finish though. HEHS. and tt's abt wat i did today and today is like super cold weather. I need to bring jacket everyday to sch alr. whole time in aircon classes. -.-

Okayy, from tomorrow I will give it my best shot not to swear and not to eat junk and eat proper food. yays. i swear alot today so gotta cut down. ALAMAKS. that j-name is not a swear word, Brandie. sheesh. u wanna go to hell isit? Tsk. everyday make fun of pple. and i happen to like tt particular name alot. not the person u have in mind lahh idiot. TSK. another one. HEHS. and yups. tt's my short entry for today, i wanna go slp.

PLEASE THE HEAVENS ABOVE GIVE ME STRENGTH TMR AND DISCIPLINE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. thank you.

i tink i m suffering frm PMS today. super pissed but am happy sometimes. sheesh. and O nite was good! not too bad. i miss orientation!!! and the sch admin really screwed lah. sis is in beta now. dammit. and so many juniors change hses!!! (*$@!%$##$%. At least shannon and chester and annabelle in alpha still and got some more lahh. cant rmb.

and first day, econs lect cancelled. HAHA. but a bitch confiscate my hp today and cause my PMS to worsen. Screw off bitch. and i ate like damn alot of junk today. Serious, I have nvr had such bad moodswings before. Its bloody scaring myself. I ate soya icecream frm mrBean (yums), frenchvanilla&tiramisu gelato at home and a whole bar of Reese's Nutrageous choc and banana and strawberry milkshake and milk hellopanda. SHOOT. I need to lose weight not gain la. buay tahan. and i super am in sucha crabby mood and i dun feel like studying. Pe had to run three rounds and do pullups and slack pushups. HAHA. AND GOT SWIMMING PE THIS TERM. I DUN HAF SWIMMING COSTUME. I only got two fave bikinis and one new roxy bikini and one seldomwear adidas bikini and yah. tt's abt it. I NEED TO GO BUY but like waste money coz i wun wear it. again anymore. HMMMs. unless i get the two piece like one-piece. The really cool looking one. If i wear a bikini to swim, i get starbucks frm Maryam... Sounds quite good ehs???
Haha.

and derrick chen owes me tcc treat now!!! YAYS. toldya its anavil and NOT aravil. Haha. He was damn hot as channing tatum in Step up. Anavil sure can dance. HAHA. I m mad yes. Hmmm. And i m alr planning valentine's day gifts! I m too efficient. but not in studies. sianns. ARGH MAY ITS A LVLS GO STUDY LAHH.

I wanna go shopping!!! and go drink coffee. I need caffeine nowadays and I will blog tmr. Maybe go read dimitri tursonov blog to improve my mood. and there's trng this week alr. i haven been gg trng man. ARGH and new coach: coach mah. yucks shucks. I dun like waterfront.

BYE. TMR. AND MY MOOD HOPEFULLY BECOMES BETTER. and i dun ever wanna see the bitch again. screw off. i rather kiss tong than sit in ur class. thk god u r just replacing for two lessons. i miss u miss han. alr. yes. and mrs pang.

Wow, still abit deaf deaf. LOL. Then again, its O night!!! Nyrah won so congrats Nyrah!!! Mun u deserve it coz u truly are the best!!! U rocked lahh.

Was abit boring at first, then it started to became much more exciting and fun till the end when the two bands came on after announcement of results. YAYS. it was fun lah but last year O1 was definitely still the best!!! And of coz i am being the usual cam whore!!! haha but not really. and i took so many pics this time again!!! Ohs, and the drummers of the two bands were goodlooking! LOL. i m so random. and although my OG didn win or anything, I still love u all!! Must hang out one day. all of us. yups.

things got a little mad when pple started spraying water at the beginning of the concert. -.- but then they stopped it after warning. And well, pple just danced and jumped and play people-train! -.- alriteyys, i really have a damn sexaye voice now. WHEE. haha. i really zhi high today or else i wld not have went up to step on tt box alone. -.- HEHS. siao. it reminded me of secondO last yr when me and guang were on the box almost the whole time. HAHA. fun sia. TJ I LOVE U. like one big family!!!

after this, its time to hit the books! its been long long overdue and i wanna go slp now. nights!!!

i love alpha still, no worries!!!

Last night we brot the OGMs to Suntec for Mass Dance and man it brot back so much funfilled memories of my own last yr. Wanted to look for Martin and dance Dhoom. HAHA. see if we still made a mess out of it. =P So then ytrday we played games in sch sports complex with the kiddos and then lunch. After lunch, they had to rehearse their O Nite performance for auditions and me and derrick headed home after buying them Mamee Monsters, arent we sweet... LOL. And then both of us met up later to head down to Plaza Sing (which we took a detour coz we took the wrong train direction and went to buangkok) to get them a lil surprise and then do lil shopping at Daiso for our own stuff, like handgrips. HAHA. and OP at PS has cafe, so cool!! So then we got to Suntec and met Chester for dinner. Apparently our grp didnt wanna dine at Suntec. Tt's just sad. So NYDC we went and dammit, I got myself dessert for dinner again. HAHA. and three new pairs of earrings. =x hehs. weakness. i wanna go shopping. AND i m not a shopaholic, just good at shopping. it burns fats la. LOL.

Hmph. whole evening kena "teased" by Derrick and Chester. SHEESH. terribly unlucky. Haha. Later need to go back sch coz my grp was selected to perform on O nite tonight. DAMMIT. was kinda looking forward to gg Sentosa ya noe. tsk. Rained after the dances ended and they couldnt run alot of rounds, like we did last yr. I stayed relatively dry coz I ran down asap. =p and then hung out outside Mac's at Marina Square with my OG for "supper".

i wanna whine. why does everyone thinks I every night go out and tiong and club and drink one. WAH LAOs. excuse me, I dun okayy? sheesh. and when i ask them why, they reply: ur face just look like tt kind lor. THANKS huh. and I look fierce mehs? I m v nice k. HAHA. not mehs? hmmm....

Haii, Orientation been quite fun la. bittersweet. Coz it reminds me of 2006 so much. ohhwells. Gotta go. Later.

Blogger was down, like cant get into the site to log in and blog. DAMMIT. but now its fine...

So then I was having orientation ytrday and today and gg to haf somemore for the next two days. HELP. but ogms are lovable? or just plain irritating. Now we noe how much effort our seniors put in. Love you darlings! LOL. so then my voice still okay this time. thank you. abit scratchy... and tmr night SUNTEC MASS DANCE YEAH!!! must be hyper and crazy. heh heh. mad bunch of pple. So ya today Amazing Race sucked lah, as in bonding thru it was not bad BUT not very wellplanned. I OFFICIALLY DUN WAN GO TAMPINES ANY TIME SOON. omg. argh. and also I suaku now then noe where Temasek Poly is. -.- sorrryyyy. Orientation been alrite la. And its good coz I have time to tok to Ahsi. Yays. And everyone is askingme MAY got cute girls not? or May u got new eyecandy alr not? WTH. Erm, numero uno: girls? where? LOL j2 girls prettier!!! whee~ and me got eyecandy not? HAHA. yes. the one tt looks like my ex. -.-
LALALA. tt's abt it la. Younger guys?? Nahs, unless they are very mature la. LOL.

So ya, basically, my partner in crime now is Derrick, the one who thinks he is damn cute la. NOT. lol. cute la cute la. dun cry k? HAHA. and had dinner w brandie and david and derrick and four others. Then David and Brandie is just toking so much crap, like serious funny shit but uber racist or just plain mean. TSK GUYS. TSK.

and omg, no one will ever believe this BUT believe it pple, coz May actually underwent this major change during the hols. And I am fcuking proud to announce it to the world. coz I dun tink anyone hu noes me will ever expect this.

I am finally...losing interest in guys alr. (not tt i m looking at girls la.) HAHA. serious. theres no one in TJ that i will go "eee...so cute" over anymore. YAYS. clap hands. And tis brings me to sth me and Derrick were toking abt on the bus home tonight. Just coz I say tt guy is cute or i tink got"seh" doesnt mean I like him kay...like omg la. tt is just juvenile. HAHA. Both of us agreed that liking someone is only when u noe tt someone well enuf lor. If not just eye candy. hehs. eye candy only spice up ur life. or else u go sch and sian ji puah rite??

but i m perfectly capable of being single. used to it and loving every minute of it. yays!!!

and i was being emo the other day and cant blog abt it. TSK. then now i not emo can.. tsk. but shall still try blog abt it.

Feeling emo: wth la. I noe I am acually considered very lucky alr but sometimes I feel jealous of the fact tt I am abit too sheltered by my parents (who dun tink they r pampering me.) I dun get to stay up late and hang out w frens. Mummy gets daddy to fetch us if we are late outside. ERM HELLO. spore transport system easy la. haii. Sounds like a brat again. HAHA. nvm got lotsa time for tt after A lvls. Think positive lahh. And man, I get jealous quite easily. but passes after a short tiny while. LOL.

enough emo stuff. HAPPY STUFF. tmr orientation again! whee?? LOL. and erm...yes happy tt i found another nice brother! YAYS. smiles pple. later...and by then i predict i no more voice,

i slept till my body woke me up. Not a bad slp but i had to wake up to wheeze and also had a weird dream. Not a bad one, just a weird but good in a sorta way. I dreamed I was in a place with lotsa snow and I owned two beautiful huskies. I dun rmb their names when I woke up but they had names. It was a very comforting dream, like i felt truly contented in the world and nth in the world meant more to me than my huskies. So big and handsome and loyal. Both following me and playing in the snow with me. I was with family and a few ppl i noe but i dun recall. weird ehs? LOL.

so then I woke up and had a normal day. wanted to get Nessa or Jinying to catch a movie with me. But nessa nvr replied me still. Haii, shes such a mystery to me. Yet i love her wholly. I might be mad at her but still i forgive her real fast. love ya dearie. and i kinda chickened out smsing Jinying. Lol. dunno why also. Coz its all over alr and I haf no special feelings for him anymore. weird. so then I spent the day w family again. and i reserved my new phone-pink Z610i. I decided not to get the gold one coz well, i dun wanna live listening to my parents rant abt it for two months. so normal day. happy in a sort of way. i m not complaining.

sometimes i m sucha pathetic loser okayy, like i hardly go out w frens and even if i do its w Marsha. LOL. come to think abt it, i did go out alot w marsh. i need to go out w more pple. SO...PPLE ASK ME OUT!! LOL. i m fcking pathetic sounding now. shoot. NO LOR, i just like family. HAH. after A lvls lah. Not now, and i haf so many more years of my life to get out more. So watever. LOL.

so thinking back to 2006 (was selecting photos frm my trips in 2006 and pasting them in my 2007diary):

I am sure lucky to be in TJ, to meet my brothers and also to make so many new frenships tt have left an impact in my life one way or the other. Also, 2006 been a really sociable year man. Serious. But not so good in the studies. Friends and i didnt bond over studies, we bonded over food, slp, slacking, music, shopping, etc etc. And I found my best frens. and i travelled alot. Definitely made alot of trips last yr more than any. But small short trips la.

so after so many fun times, its definitely time to give back and settle down. yups. and also hopefully do more charity work like donate during flag days when i feel like it. LOL. sians.

i m rambling and i need to go to slp coz tmr need to wake up early early!!! sch is starting!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

time flies. really.

why is it so hard to tell you my true feelings?
so difficult, so nervewrecking
they say this is a new century,
they dun mind when u make the first move
but it still feels weird.
even just thinking abt it.
why is tt so?
but then, u also realise they too are afraid.
of rejection, of losing the frenship.
just like you.

the world is a funny place and worked by a mysterious force.
but all i wanna noe is he my destiny?

HEHs. been linking pple and now to update again.

dad and mum just got back frm buying fruits and flowers. And they got me daisies. Awwww. dad's been getting me flowers since well, a few mths ago whenever they go buy orchids for praying. I prefer roses and sunflowers. But nvm, daisies are fine I guess. I shldnt be choosy. Kids in the mountains in China and Thailand arent tt lucky rite??

Anyway even though I havent been doing any hw, ok fine GP, I read two books!! Yays, my oldest fave pastime which I haven been doing alot of. anyway the books are Memoir of a Geisha( i meant it when I say I haven been doing alot of reading), and The MemoryKeeper's Daughter which is so sad and tragic. But I havent cried for it yet.

I was watching the sisterhood of the travelling pants the other day and I cried buckets. Okay I cried more for tt Goong drama. But still. Anyway the story involves four best frens separating for the summer and yet they managed to find this pair of jeans to fit them all perfectly and so they are gg to share it. My fave story is definitely the one who went to Greece and fell in love w this guy frm the family enemy. Aww, just so sweet and so inspiring. Another one is the punkgirl who is totally filled w pentup angst against the world and doesn give a shit. Yet she met a young girl who has leukemia and became her fren and changed herself unknowingly. All these were brot abt by tt pair of jeans. Anyway it was just amazing. I dun look like I cry tt easily but as long as I feel too angry or pissed or touched, I will just shed tears. But I dun wanna cry tt easily la. so trying hard to contain the tears. Haha.

and i haven been to vivocity and the new big ikea. Haha. a wee bit suaku. -.-

ahhwells. i shall haf an early night. and see what tmr brings. gd nite y'all. sweet dreams.

so a new year!!! haha. first post for the year. i predict and m very sure it will be a very busy year ahead. very very busy. so anyway I started my first day of the year playing tennis with sis and rachel early in the morn and meeting rachie's new doggie truffles. okay not so new but i havent seen her yet wat. So truffles is a cute little dautschhund. awww the cutie but i like cookie more. hahaha. truffie puffie the rachie doggie. laughs. and then went shopping for a while to get myself gold flats at taka. Anyway, I am still missing a couple of items to buy before i truly feel its enuff. daddy can we go shopping?? pls? and my new phone?? can we??

tt's abt my day and now i m getting ready for sch which starts on wednsday but then i will be busy being OGL. BLAZON RULES. Last year we kinda like won everything so Alpha gotta maintain tt ya? YAYS. hahaha. And i havent gone out w nessa who (i'm not tt surprised) is not replying my sms-es. hello gf?? u okay?? i care u noe.

hmmm. so yups. nth much actually. and i m packing my bags getting ready etc etc for sch. I like this kinda stuff. organising etc. Though my results havent actually left Mum proud of me , but I guess she is proud of me abt the fact tt I can handle myself on my own and pack my bags and help her w stuff like tt during trips and at home when i clean stuff for her. Those are some of the stuff I take after her even if I look like Daddy on the outside. Sis looks more like Mummy on the outside but man, she sure does take after Dad alot in the sense of... HAHA. I dun even wanna name them. Ahh wells, thinking back 2006. Some parts of my horoscope did come true. Some, well, maybe I am just immune to it and didn pay much attn and so to me it didnt happen. OKAY, the part about me meeting the one in November did NOT come true. haha. (to me, I thot it came true in December) But me meeting lots of new frens and making solid frenships and also meeting pple frm my past. well, yups, true. its funny how many pple i met frm my past and tt someone who meant alot back then and lost contact with, well, we met again. tt was funny. and I am still very amazed tt he could recognise me. So many pple frm my past had to take quite a while u noe. just taking a second look. But he didnt he said he just knew it. HAHA. okayy, its life and destiny and fate. watever okay? and abt me having a relationship? nahs, didnt happen. I was being a wee bit picky alrite. Whatever it is, some of them are brothers now so it will nvr happen. the other, well, whats done cannot be undone. i m quite sorry in fact but i dun tink i wanna mend it too. maybe things are better left this way. i mean, whatever is yours will be yours in the end. you cant ever lose whats ur own. Like I lose my earring and its my fave and i yearn for it, if its meant to be mine again, I will be able to find it no matter how difficult it is. But if it isnt well, tears are all i can offer. Hahaha, sometimes reality is very difficult and its nth like i can describe here. Some parts may seem so storylike but some are just too real. The way u handle stuff at tt point of time and when u tink back or when u tink abt tt situation and wondered how u wanna handle it, they will always be different. Even if it is similar there will differences in some ways.

and nessa, we are well back in contact and tok more now. Maybe coz I m older and a little wiser. haha. maybe not. but i m certainly older.

I m still pissed off at myself eating junk food. argh. i need to shed those fats man. And grow a wee bit taller. how abt tt? good idea? I tink so too. lol.

so sarah did this up for me and she is officially nicknamed by me: HTML QUEEN. yays. but i sure dun get my blog?? why got black stuff covering the back posts?? and how do i link pple?? ah wells she will teach me soon. YAYS. thanks so much kiddo!!!

so dear god, please just let me be determined to finish my studies well and strong and make it to uni. tt's all i ever wanted. really. the rest and the partying can wait till the end when A lvls end and also I have the rest of my life to discover it. I m a brat and can be a wildchild but hey, thanks to my parents ( i admit ok) in certain cases, I dun mind being a "nerd". Do things when u r legal and with ur parents' permission. Sometimes it will be so much sweeter.

then somewhere deep in my head, a voice spoke: u want sth else too... u dun mind it happening...
oh yes, i wun but hey, it takes two hands to clap.